Mystery, Alaska

Bear with me. If you are one of the twelve people who saw this movie you saw Mike Meyers (Wayne's World, Austin Powers, etc.) play a hockey announcer (mullet and all) for a game between the NY Rangers and the Eskimos of Mystery. (All in all a good flick, if it weren't for Russell Crowe). The reason I bring this up is that Meyers plays perfectly the kind of sports announcing we can expect from today's generation of blowhards. During one period he talks how he wants to take the Mystery team home and adopt them because they are that good, only to vacillate to saying they never had a chance and it was sad the game even got scheduled. This reversal happens several times during the course of the game a la the announcing crew for MNF.

Tony Kornheiser said the Cardinals should just leave the field once they got that first down because that was a victory for them. (At this point I thought we were going to have to tranq the Wife). I wanted to kill him. Then as the game progress Kornheiser jumped on the Cardinals bandwagon, saying Leinart was the second coming of Bradshaw. Only to end the telecast with the Bears are a team of destiny and the better team won. At one point the Wife and I turned off the sound to stop listening to it. The the Wife went to bed angry at the world and I stopped watching. (The Wife is quite the Bears fan). Luckily I switched back for the fourth quarter and what a great quarter for a Bears' fan.

I am really trying to make a couple of points here:

One, it is sad that sports "journalists: (using the term "loosely") think the must take opinions to such extremes to be heard in the current on-demand environment.

Two, the reason that the NFL is such a great product is that there is such parity in the league. You in fact are never sure exactly what is going to happen. Recently, someone said in my presence that the Buckeyes or USC would beat the Texans or Raiders. This is possibly the stupidest sports comment anyone can make. The reason a top flight program like OSU is so good is because they may send ten players to the NFL, but out of every class that large it will be lucky for two to be impact/starter players. A pro team is made up of the best players from every source available, thus such a game wouldn't even be close. (Fun fact: Back in the early days of football it was common for the all-pro team would play the Collegiate National Champion, granted when everyone wore leather helmets.) So would people stop making this idiotic statement. (This is backed up by the pFil/Russell Corollary; such that when the two of us agree on anything we are always right).

Third, the Wife is starting to understand why I become so crazed as an OSU football fan. It is sometimes harder to support a team who is winning in fantastic fashion because when they underperform it makes the possibility of a loss that much harder to take. (Reason No. 389 why I love the Wife, after I got the most recent ESPN mag with the Bears on the cover, the Wife became visibly upset that they were trying to curse the team by putting them on the cover and giving them crazy amounts of publicity.)

Finally, there may have to be a new level of loss on the Sports Guy Scale for what happened to the Cardinal fans last night. Just horrible.

Oh and the Bear with me pun, was completely unintended.


Two random notes:

Gamers: John Terry put on the keeper jersey and maintained a clean sheet for Chelsea after both the starting and reserve goalies were knocked out of a recent EPL game against Reading. You don't have to wonder why Terry will be wearing the Captains armband for England and for Chelsea for the foreseeable future.

Funnies: After a shot of Al Davis this past sunday night in the Owners box someone commented, "It looks like a Weekend at Bernies."

A Moment of Silence!!!

No!!!We can only hope the embargo lasts a year. Otherwise, I am going to steal a tanker truck and start smuggling it into the city.

Long Time....No Post

An apology to our faithful readers for not posting with greater frequency, but time has been taken up with watching frisbee(yeah Chicago putting teams into natties again and Madcow making the leap to the top tier in the region), playing frisbee, being sick and staying warm. Chicago saw its first snowfall, but not to worry there will still be a couple of days on down the line where the temp hits the 70s.

Rather than play catch up let's just say Public News Team is fun (not always winning, but always fun even if BK isn't ok), the Bears and Buckeyes are both undefeated and fun to watch and Marla is at her cutest when the Wife is sick. (Following her around and playing under the covers and doing her best impression of E.T.).

Now to the reason I post. I hate Stephen A. Smith. How doess this guy still have a show. I listen to his NBA commentary on ESPN pre-game and what not and all I can think of is Steve Carell yelling, "Loud Noises". I mean I know he was on a b-ball scholarship at Winstom-Salem State, but this guy is the biggest jock sniffer. I would much rather hear Steve Kerr's(Best Sportscaster/Former Athlete ever) analysis of how to break down a box and one then Stephen A. Smith YELL that Allen Iverson is a warrior and Elton Brand is soft. Until, someone reminds him that Elton Brand is a 20-10 guy. (By the way the Bulls trading Brand for the Curry Pick possibly the worst trade made in the past two decades in the NBA; even if Curry hadn't had the heart issues how do you ever trade a 20-10 guy).

On a recent airing of Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith had a sports handicapper, a female reporter from Court TV and Kevin Powell (Yes, Kevin Powell of Original Real World fame). This with Pennant games, halfway through the NCAA football season, etc.
I could not believe it. My fervent hope is Bill Simmons of Sports Guy fame leaves ESPN so he can write a whole column bashing Stephen A. Smith.

Anyhow, expect more regular posts.