The Unpaid Bar Tab

New Addition

2009-03-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I am posting again, but the post gives it away. The Wife and I now have a son. To be referred to as G-MAC on the blog. The real point of this post is to organize my thoughts about my fandom and how I pass it on. I am thinking of throwing myself into following nothing but Chicago teams to make it easier for G-MAC. Of course we will only follow one college program in this house regardless of where we live, but I think it would be easier for all parties for me to follow Cubs, Bulls, Bears, Fire and Blackhawks. Not sure feel free to advise and if I see you in person expect to have this conversation.

Simply The Best

2008-04-30T05:03:00.000-07:00

I think #15 is the best sketch ever done on TV. The title is a link to the 50 best sketches ever done as compiled by nerve.com and the IFC.

The Odds

2008-04-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

Whit: 6 to 1
Akira: 3 to 1
Bjorn: 12 to 1
CBR: 8 to 1
TBR: 5 to 1
Baby vs Field: 2 to 1

If you can't figure it out you don't understand what thirty-somethings do when they go out for liters of beer and then go out to a bar afterwards. They stay out way too late and betting ensues. Currently all the action is on akira and cbr.

Bad Parents

2007-08-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

Who knew that Marla, ("the monster") a 120lbs dog could be allergic to red meat and chicken. I mean she really got screwed on the whole genetic lottery, it is like having a fish allergy and being of Filipino descent. (Sorry Mrs. EA). Also, who knew such an allergy would manifest in unilateral ear infection, scratchy face and paw biting. Oh well, she now feeds on fish and sweet potato or some nonsense. First come first serve on a big box of her old chicken fat infused treats.

Top Five

2007-08-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

Below are the five most expensive college football tickets as of August 10th:

1 Penn State vs. Notre Dame September 8 State College, Pa. $1,100
2 Michigan vs. Ohio State November 17 Ann Arbor, Mich. $1,000
3 Notre Dame vs. USC October 20 South Bend, Ind. $950
4 Michigan vs. Notre Dame September 15 Ann Arbor, Mich. $696
5 Notre Dame vs. Boston College October 13 South Bend, Ind. $661

Now I don't mean to beat a dead horse (leprechaun), but I am both amazed and (after a great deal of soul searching) envious of a team that can manage this kind of following despite having not won a bowl game since 1994.

A couple of points:
1)I am an avowed Irish basher. Some because of living in Chicago, some because I have a number of friends that are alumnae(Great route runner) and some because I hate bandwagon fans. (A full disclosure of fandom below).
a)I do not mind ND fans that did their undergrad in south bend.(Law school only fans are the worst, particularly if they gave up allegiance to another school).
2)The Ty Willingham termination. I am not saying this had anything to do with race, but I am looking for an adequate explanation why Charlie Weis is not on the coaching hot seat for essentially the same performance as ty.(Burke or Urda looking at you).
3)The we graduate more players and that is why we don't get better recruits argument. Serious pet peeve. Several points:
a)The graduation rate percentage at ND is significantly higher then other BCS schools(except Northwestern and Duke). True, but the percentage is lower then the total student body.
b)At Ohio State, for example, the football graduation rate is much lower then the same stat at ND, however it is right in line with the normal graduation rate(53% and 55% respectively)((Using a six year limit and no one graduates OSU in less then 5 years)) . This percentage when broken into race demographics shows african-american football players are 20% more likely to graduate then the non-athelete african-american student population.
c)Thus, stats can prove anything you damn want as long as you can argue and (shockingly) the schools have different missions. Private school vs land grant, etc. d)Finally, really the school recruits on academics. Really! Yet, ND still gets top 5 recruiting classes.

I am hoping nothing said here keeps from the Burke household in Ann Arbor on November 17th.

Fan Affiliation:
College: The Ohio State University (I made it a goal to see a game, match or meet of every varsity sport at OSU, yes I went to rifle match).
NFL: AFC:Bengals NFC: Bears (If the two were playing Bengals)
NBA: Eastern: Bulls Western:Spurs(I almost went to the USNA, loved Mr. Robinson and now the big fundamental)
MLB: Reds (I'll go to cubs games).
MLS: Fire
EPL: Liverpool (You'll never walk alone).
Rugby: All-blacks and London Harlequins
Cricket: Pakistan(Thanks to the GAME).

Glasgow Rangers above everything if you don't understand(and can't figure out in a couple of google searches, well you don't know me).

Curmudgeon

2007-06-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

AY quoting John Winkour in order to describe the essence of my personality. I don't know, I kind of like it...

"A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved. They're neither warped nor evil at heart. They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities. They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy. They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor. . . . . . They attack maudlinism because it devalues genuine sentiment. . . . . . Nature, having failed to equip them with a servicable denial mechanism, has endowed them with astute perception and sly wit.

Curmudgeons are mockers and debunkers whose bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease. They can't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for feigned cheerfulness. Their awareness is a curse.

Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message: They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology. They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee. Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor."

Now I Understand "Contact" by Carl Sagan

2007-04-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

From The Scoop Section (Guilty Pleasure) of MSNBC.Com: (As always snarky parenthetical comments are mine)

Kirsten Dunst thinks America would be a better place if people would smoke a little more weed. (Uh gee uh....) “I drink moderately, I've tried drugs. I do like weed. I have a different outlook on marijuana than America does,” (Uhhhmmm!!!) the “Spider-Man” star said, reports WENN. “My best friend Sasha's dad was Carl Sagan(What the....), the astronomer. He was the biggest pot-smoker in the world and he was a genius.(Reaalllyyy!!!) I've never been a major smoker, but I think America’s view on weed is ridiculous. I mean — are you kidding me? If everyone smoked weed, the world would be a better place.”(UhhhMMM!)

Why the Sports Guy Is Awesome...And Why Charlie Doesn't Surf

2007-04-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

"Mark Teahen, who handled that play like a token female in a friendly office softball game." It is funny because not only is it true, but because you can perfectly visualize the play.

Also, I finally get to catch a game at the Great American Ballpark this June. Oh and my niece, AAH, is being christened the same weekend. I promise not to eat a Red Hot at one of these events. (Ok, who are we kidding, I love hot dogs put me down for a couple at both). The Reds are playing the Rangers. Adam Dunn and Sammy Sosa, and a homer friendly park. We could see a single game record for HR's or more likely K's. Seriously, I had better plate discipline playing kickball. Kills me.

In other sports news the Bulls are playing well and may get the second seed in the east.

Do you think other golfers just get pissed that even though they have a four stroke lead on Thursday they know they are going to get Tiger'd. (Yes I made it a verb). My father-in-law watched the practice rounds in Augusta looking forward to hear his comments.

Oh, and if you think I am avoiding talking about the biggest sporting event to happen this week out of some emotional shock you may be right. By no means did the third straight loss in a Championship game by one of my teams, including the Buckeyes twice losing to the the Gators cause me to re-enact Martin Sheen's Saigon hotel room karate workout from Apocalypse Now. Really...

I refuse any further comment regarding this subject and if you ask me about it, well in the immortal words of Kurtz:
"I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared."

A rose by any other name...

2007-03-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

On this, the holiest of holies for sports fans, I can only be a little sad. Despite OSU's 21 point thumping of the nutmeggers, (CT is the nutmeg state, thanks CBR) I am distraught. Pete Rose announced he bet on the Reds not occasionally, but every night. A part of me died. I always argued that Charlie Hustle never gambled because he had no reason to add to his bank and there is plenty of other stuff to gamble on. (To be honest I have argued far worse, the pulling the knife out with her teeth comes to mind). Now he admits to gambling in a vain attempt to make the hall. (Something that should have happened along time ago). Regardless of my broken heart, 4192 is still 4192, and everyone knows, as an exmaple, Cobb was way worse.

My point is not Rose's Hall eligibility, but more that all of my childhood gods have feet of clay. We spend so much of our time worshiping our heroes for them to only let us down in the end.

The Best Man

2007-02-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

So a recent email set off a great chain of ideas. First, congratulations to Boeckl of the Parma (Blue Moon Over Parma Tonight)Boeckls for his recent engagement. As Kral((aka thunder, aka chum, aka banana republic model) have you ever noticed if you hang out alot for a long time with the same group of guys everyone gets alot of nicknames, I feel like we're rappers)) commented it was only a matter of time since they bought curtains together. Anyhow, in typical Leadbelly (Ohio State University Ultimate) fashion Boeckl sent out a giant email to notify everyone to which he appended there would be an NBA/lottery style draft of those who received the email to decide who would be groomsmen.

That got me thinking why isn't this a Survivor/The Bachelor game show entitled, wait for it, "The Best Man" (by the way I have copyrighted the rights to this idea and all possible spinoffs including the animation rights I learned my lesson from the banana grabber incident). So through the course of a long weekend various challenges would take place allowing the Groom to make the final decisions and/or winners would get some sort of pass, you get the idea.

Possible Challenges(Geared towards Leadbelly):
Wendy's Challenge(Eating one of everything on the .99 menu)
Carb-O-Challenge(Drinking and Running Combined)
Yelling Obnoxiously At Strangers/The Penis Game(Saying Penis progressively louder in sort of a Liar's Poker Fashion of how loud one is willing to go; obviously not allowed in Leadbelly Best Man because Rev is the undisputed champion of this game with Willis as a close second, think Cracker Barrel and charter bus of retirees)
Handling of a Two Story Beer Bong (This was actually built, promise)
Finding an Open Bathroom On Campus During Game Day
Best Use of Themed Strippers
Streaking

Added to this is the possibility of locations. The Best Man Las Vegas, entirely too obvious, but the best location. The Best Man Miami, a possibility of a Miami Vice challenge involving the wearing of a linen suit and stealing a Ferrari. The Best Man Montreal could entail acting obnoxiously French in the face of mere French-Canadians. The Best Man Kalamazoo, trying to find a barn after-party while drunk and breaking into a college dorm. You get the idea.

Think of the gambling tie ins:
Overall winner
Over/under on puking
Over/under on Matty Fancher asks where he is and how he got there(Only for Leadbelly Best Man)
Prop bets on choice of alcohol and stripper hair color

Anyhow something to think about.

Open Letter To The Woman Who Lives Above Tango Sur

2007-02-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

The blinds of your apartment are not opaque enough for you to put your blue lacy bra on in front of the window unless you intended to treat everyone turning on to Southport from Grace with a burlesque show.

The Perfect Storm

2007-01-12T21:09:00.001-08:00

I wrote this awhile back and now am posting for intellectual honesty sake.

"The boys are talking? About how I lost it? Billy Tyne's lost it? Things get a little slow they're ready to draw and quarter you. I didn't think you would go along with them." Said by the original McDreamy, George Clooney.

Or put another way Mike Nifong(the Assistant District Attorney in the Duke case) pretty much created the perfect case study for prosecutorial misconduct. As a rule I try to refrain from commenting about the legal cases that make CourtTV for several reasons. One, I rarely know the actual facts of the case outside of whatever skewed version is being given to the press or the press is printing and without the facts it is kind of pointless to analyze any case. Two, if a case reaches the level of public scrutiny where the tabloids are commenting (Court TV is a tabloid) any further analysis is pointless because people already made up their mind. (No arguing with drunks or fools). Third, any member of the bar, unless proven otherwise, deserves a certain amount of professional respect from peers. (British Barrister have a tradition of not shaking hands upon meeting because it is assumed they already know each other, always liked this custom). Finally, do accountants talk about taxes away from work.

Then I read this, "He(Nifong) feels, as a result of the accusations against him, that he would be a distraction and he wants to make sure the accuser receives a fair trial," attorney David Freedman told The Associated Press. "He still believes in the case. He just believes his continued presence would hurt her." A person doesn't need a formal legal training, but only a passing grade in high school civics too understand the idiocy in this comment. Nifong wanted the accusser to recieve a fair trial. This is not the point of the criminal judicial system in this country. Instead, the accussed is innocent until proven guilty beyong a reasonable doubt by a jury of their peers. Granted this system is not perfect, but its our system and people have not found a better one..

Now the Duke case is more difficult to comment because it involves rape. Naturally any, well adjusted, male has qualms about commenting on a rape case because he automatically feels that if he came to the defense of the accussed he agrees with the act. So let's be clear on this if you are committed rape you should be hung from a yardarm.

The guy who played H in K2: I'll hang your boy from a fuckin' yardarm.
Kaffee: A yardarm? Sherby, does the Navy still hang people from yardarms?
Sherby: I don't think so, Danny.
Kaffee: Dave, Sherby doesn't think the Navy hangs people from yardarms anymore.
AND SCENE....

(Hold on are you advocating capital punishment, maybe but a discussion for another time).

Well in the case of rape they should. In this respect I agree with Robert Heinlein's rational anarchist characters who believe any laws not meant to protect women and children are pointless. Granted, a bit extreme, but clearly rape is a heinous act.

This all being said, this case had some irregularities from the begining. What stripper agrees to do a housecall without a bouncer/moneycollector. This never happens or so I am told, but come on we all remember old man EM's bachelor party. In addition, you have class and race issues involved so it makes it "sexy" in media parlance. Nifong saw a chance to get some votes given the election demographics and blabbed to the media and a number of young mens lives were stalled and possibly ruined.

Granted, the Duke players cases were not helped by the fact that they apparently acted as if life was one long rush week. The Duke players racked up an ungodly list of criminal acts and some of this could have been averted if someone got a swift kick in the ass from the beginning. What national champion, educated and privileged dumb-ass ever lets themselves get in this situation in the first place. Obviously, the players should have acted better from the beginning, but (and this not a boys will be boys excuse) the people involved are still relatively young.

In the end several young mens lives were ruined for a case that apparently will go no further and a great example of why defendants are innocent until proven guilty and why the fourth estate should not be the arbitrer of law.

Why I Hate Winter!!!

2006-12-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

Now as a general rule I love winter. Thanks to genetics(and a healthy appetite) I don't get cold. When I worked in New Mexico I served as a the canary in the mine for when it was too cold, ie if I got cold someone was about to succumb to hypothermia. My college ultimate team would often say that if another ice age came it would be my genetic seed that inherited the earth. You get the idea. Also, snow is awesome. The Monster loves to play in the snow and if you have ever seen her run through 8" of powder you have seen something truly funny. So why do I hate winter, PEOPLE THAT DON'T SHOVEL THEIR SIDEWALK!!!

The Wife and I live in a fairly gentrified part of town some may even call it "Tony." There has been a rash of quaint bungalows being razed and $3 million monstrosities being built. Now here is the really annoying part (besides my sprained ankle walking to the blue line) it is not the 80 year old polish ladies(who coincidentally all hang out on the same stoop during the summer a la a polski 227) that have not cleared their sidewalk. These sidewalks are either cleared by nice neighbors or by some complex network of polish family/friend network that may own 1/3 of the neighborhood. Instead it is the multi-million dollar homes that don't clear the sidewalk. Now I get that a person may not be able/want to shovel snow((Particularly, when the snow is being referred to as heart attack snow(really wet and heavy) at the Cardiac ICU at the Wife's hospital)), but come on. If you can afford that house surely you can afford a snow removal service or support the local neighborhood by hiring some local kids, who even come around asking.

Now a week removed from the last snow those sidewalks that were initially shoveled are dry and clear, while the ones that have not been shoveled have become sheets of ice. Making matters worse when walking home at night the little melt from the day refreezes and it is dark and I need ankle replacement surgery.

So to be clear shovel your sidewalk!

Thanksgiving with the BR's (all of them)

2006-11-30T15:22:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I last wrote. I guess I just haven't felt that anything was blog worthy, but I have these pictures to share and I might as well give some description of the events. Rick and I found ourselves without family for the holiday; my parents flew to Portland to visit my sister and we did not have time to travel to Cinci for the weekend since I had to work Friday. Thankfully, the BR's asked us to join them, their parents, Monica, Nate and Allison and their new baby, Maxine for the day. In addition to the 9 of us humans, there were 5 dogs roaming around the backyard (if you include the dog from upstairs). We arrived at 1pm, watched football, ate cheese and crackers and enjoyed some wine and beer. Nate and Allison arrived fashionably late w/ Maxine in tow. Tony busied himself w/ the turkey as Sid chopped green beans w/ some nail clippers and John boiled the gross turkey neck. I did nothing. Absolutely nothing, other than get up for another beer or to make sure Marla had not eaten the other dogs.

At one point, Monica, Allison and I looked up from our relaxed spots on the couch to find ALL of the men cooking or preparing something in the kitchen! It was some sort of wonderful role reversal. We all fawned over Maxine while this whole elaborate, wonderful meal came to fruition.

Rick asked me to step away from the baby multiple times to avoid "catching baby". Unfortunately, we have a new adorable niece, Abby, who will be 6 weeks old upon our arrival for Christmas in Cinci. I think I may catch baby from her anyway. I will post pics of her when we see her in a few weeks.

On a totally unrelated note, I have started taking yoga. After the first session, I stretched my hammies into incredible soreness, but I loved the deep stretching, resistance and relative relaxation. My athletic but completely inflexible husband asked me to show him a few poses, so I made him get on his belly, grab his right leg with his right arm, and attempt to grab his left leg with his left hand (this was not the easiest move, but he seemed so cocky...). I think he pulled 3 different muscles. I took my 2nd class last night and was pleasantly surprised that I could do the downward facing dog, the eagle, the warrior and many other poses without the instructor coming over to wrench my leg into the correct position. Since I love this instructor, I also took her class this morning. 6-6:30 am Morning Pump. I can't move my arms. Seriously. I will be completely crippled by soreness tomorrow.

I invited myself and Rick up to my parents for the day Sunday to help them with Christmas decorating, get some good, free food, and watch the Bears game. My Mom LOVES christmas. Her decorations are kept in tens of boxes, not including the fresh greens, that all need to be dragged up from the basement and spread throughout every room of the house. It is a complete transformation.

My Dad tolerates the effort involved only because it makes my Mom happy. Here he is Christmas morning last year, smiling only because the madness is almost over for the year.
This supposed 16" of snow has really put me in the mood for the holidays. I have become my mother in that the shopping is almost finished. Enjoy the season. I imagine I won't post again until the new year!

The One Where I Am Super Happy...

2006-11-20T18:35:00.000-08:00

So leading up to this weekend a great deal was written about the OSU/UM game; some good, some bad and some just hype. All in all, I think even uninterested parties must agree the game was amazing. (Highest rated regular season game in history). Both Bo and Woody are spinning in their respective graves over the style of football played, but once again the man in the sweater vest took care of business and now owns a 5-1 record over Lloyd Carr. Even more surprising was the amount of class showed by the OSU fans. (No large riots). Not that there weren't some assholes(Kula), but even the Dead Schembechlers after the announcement of Bo's death disbanded Friday night following their scheduled gig and wanted to donate all proceeds to the charity of the Schembechler family's choice. (Casual fans forget Schembechler coached at OSU).

Now I rode to Columbus with Bral and his wife. Who knew a large white pizza from Piece is perfect for road trips. We arrived at Kral and his wife's house around 8pm. (Mad love to the whole Ralston clan for rides and a bed to crash in). After some margaritas we headed to Houndogs to meet up with more members of Leadbelly(My college frisbee team) then really should be allowed to congregate in public without fear of injury or serious property damage. After finding out a pitcher of Arrogant Bastard (how appropriate) costs $12 we started drinking in earnest, except for Karl(Brent's wife Kari who is known as Karl thanks to an unfortunate typo) who is pregnant. (We were all excited, except for me who knows such an announcement will only fuel the Wife's baby fever). Stuff happened, more people showed up(All of the Leards, including Funk, Kimmie and both Lelands), drunken hilarity ensued. Funk ended up needing to use the one-hit rule. (In college Funk was a great player and friend, but he also could get mouthy when drunk. Leading to the institution of the one-hit rule, by which if Funk started a bar brawl I would allow the other guy one hit before stepping in if Funk started it by being obnoxious). After the explanation of said rule to the idiot in question and his general observation of the number of guys who seemed to be hanging out together said idiot may have stopped running by the time he got to his apartment.

After walking back to Kral's, (Bral sprained his ankle in the process by getting his ass kicked by his wife over a can of Skoal((Bral getting his ass kicked is a theme throughout and who knew women don't like smokeless tobacco)). Anyhow, the night ended up with Bral and I talking about AJS (You only need to see a Thumper jersey to know) until 4am.

Saturday saw us getting up in the morning to walk down to campus to check out ESPN Gameday (the Kula's((Jeff and his brother Kevin)) made the show thanks to their professional sign and labeled jello shots) and the pageantry that is tailgating for a large game. I ended up standing on the corner of Woody Hayes and Tuttle people watching with the usual suspects. Biggs ended up getting drunk(Shocking). Luckily, Mason Hall was open to use the head. As a result Biggs had to toast the portrait of General Mason, who donated the money for the building and thereby allowing him a place to take a piss. So raise your freakin' glass. (Or can of coke which you have been pouring whiskey into out of Dasani water bottle all morning). Then Biggs kicked the crap out of Bral(I told you) and Kral rather than helping his brother filmed the assault only to played over and over through rest of the day

We then walked over to Yule's house to watch the game. Yule's may be the best place to watch the game ever. There were three places to watch the game. The front room of his house which was a normal TV room. The backyard with a firepit and a TV on the back porch. Finally, the piece de resistance, the garage which was cleared of cars and had a projector and a screen in it. (Oddly, this left people to find the latest in furniture, a bag of mulch). Everyone brought at least a case of beer and some form of food. (Rob Martin even brought fireworks, which he threw into the firepit after every score, except for the giant rockets lit out of Funk's hand after the OSU win). As I read this paragraph I know I am missing all the good parts. Halftime touch football in the street, Hump's (Yes, his name is Hump, really long story) comments vis a vis his possible engagement and future fiancee's breasts, being introduced to Yule's brothers and brother-in-law as the guy who named him Yule (his last name is Brenner and we already had a Mark), the Leard brothers streaking all the way from Yule's to Rag-O-Rama, Yule's boss seeing Boeckl and I walk out of the bathroom together(there was only one bathroom in our defense), Funk deciding he wanted to beat me up over something that happened along time ago leading to me kicking his ass (Never date your good friend's sister) and, finally, calling those Leadbellys not in attendance. Really I can't imagine a better way to watch the game.

Only bad part was driving home, not because of the company but because of the driving. Anyhow, the Wife showed reason #202 of why I love her by calling me with updates from the Bears game and surprising me with a Senseo machine upon my return. The Senseo kicks ass. Look it up.

So great weekend and looking forward to Thanksgiving with the BR's.

Be Sure to Watch Gameday

2006-11-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

Getting ready to go to the game. Whose excited. I'll report back upon my return.

"Get 'em Boys!!!"

2006-11-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

Blah, blah and Blah!!! I know I said I would update more, I lied. The Wife is 20&10. There was a full week of celebrations. Dinner at Wildfire, Coast, Jinju and People's Lounge.(I didn't go to Peoples). Meals were had with in-laws and the Wife's grad school friends from Boston. All in all a great time.

Oh, also saw "The Last King of Scotland" great film with EA. Forrest Whittaker gave a tour de force performance that should net him an Oscar. Has anyone had an odder career in Hollywood? Just answered my own question when Ron Livingston appeared on a Sprint/Nextel commercial. One thing of note for the squeamish, the movie includes the second most disturbing scene I have ever seen in a film, however I think it added to the story so the disgust was worth the emotional impact. (And no #1 is not "The Crying Game" although it would be apropos. Instead, #1 goes to Bjork in Dancers in the Dark. I actually, had to call EA((saw it with him))from the bus on the way home to discuss. That bad. Nightmares for a week. Great film and necessary viewing for advocates of capital punishment.)

Now, regarding the title. Last night dinner at Jinju(Good, kind of trendy Korean BBQ; personally I prefer the sketchy place I go when only accompanied with someone that speaks Korean ((Shout out, to Mina)). BK, what's the name?) Really didn't mind anything after second giant glass of Soju. Anyhow, we attempted to get drinks afterwards at several bars, but either crowded or smokey. (I can't wait for Chicago to catch up and ban all smoking in all bars). Anyhow, ended up at Marty's in Andersonville. I then had a Banky moment from Chasing Amy, but in reverse. I walked in with four women and one other guy. We increased the total number of women in the bar by four. So no smoking, but super small bar. A lot of men drinking cosmos. You get the idea. Comedy ensued as we made friendsies. (I apparently have a cute nose, who knew). For whatever reason, all I could think of was the end of "Blazing Saddles" when the cowboys started a fight with the dancers in top hats. Not entirely sure why. For the record, Marty's; no smoking, Woodford Reserve Bourbon and close to friends house. In the words of McArthur, "I shall return."

Final notes:
1)Alec Baldwin should be required to Host SNL once a month;
2)The Bears rule; and
3) I will be in Columbus next weekend for the game, please forward all communications to the Franklin County Correctional Department.

Mystery, Alaska

2006-10-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

Bear with me. If you are one of the twelve people who saw this movie you saw Mike Meyers (Wayne's World, Austin Powers, etc.) play a hockey announcer (mullet and all) for a game between the NY Rangers and the Eskimos of Mystery. (All in all a good flick, if it weren't for Russell Crowe). The reason I bring this up is that Meyers plays perfectly the kind of sports announcing we can expect from today's generation of blowhards. During one period he talks how he wants to take the Mystery team home and adopt them because they are that good, only to vacillate to saying they never had a chance and it was sad the game even got scheduled. This reversal happens several times during the course of the game a la the announcing crew for MNF.

Tony Kornheiser said the Cardinals should just leave the field once they got that first down because that was a victory for them. (At this point I thought we were going to have to tranq the Wife). I wanted to kill him. Then as the game progress Kornheiser jumped on the Cardinals bandwagon, saying Leinart was the second coming of Bradshaw. Only to end the telecast with the Bears are a team of destiny and the better team won. At one point the Wife and I turned off the sound to stop listening to it. The the Wife went to bed angry at the world and I stopped watching. (The Wife is quite the Bears fan). Luckily I switched back for the fourth quarter and what a great quarter for a Bears' fan.

I am really trying to make a couple of points here:

One, it is sad that sports "journalists: (using the term "loosely") think the must take opinions to such extremes to be heard in the current on-demand environment.

Two, the reason that the NFL is such a great product is that there is such parity in the league. You in fact are never sure exactly what is going to happen. Recently, someone said in my presence that the Buckeyes or USC would beat the Texans or Raiders. This is possibly the stupidest sports comment anyone can make. The reason a top flight program like OSU is so good is because they may send ten players to the NFL, but out of every class that large it will be lucky for two to be impact/starter players. A pro team is made up of the best players from every source available, thus such a game wouldn't even be close. (Fun fact: Back in the early days of football it was common for the all-pro team would play the Collegiate National Champion, granted when everyone wore leather helmets.) So would people stop making this idiotic statement. (This is backed up by the pFil/Russell Corollary; such that when the two of us agree on anything we are always right).

Third, the Wife is starting to understand why I become so crazed as an OSU football fan. It is sometimes harder to support a team who is winning in fantastic fashion because when they underperform it makes the possibility of a loss that much harder to take. (Reason No. 389 why I love the Wife, after I got the most recent ESPN mag with the Bears on the cover, the Wife became visibly upset that they were trying to curse the team by putting them on the cover and giving them crazy amounts of publicity.)

Finally, there may have to be a new level of loss on the Sports Guy Scale for what happened to the Cardinal fans last night. Just horrible.

Oh and the Bear with me pun, was completely unintended.

Two random notes:

Gamers: John Terry put on the keeper jersey and maintained a clean sheet for Chelsea after both the starting and reserve goalies were knocked out of a recent EPL game against Reading. You don't have to wonder why Terry will be wearing the Captains armband for England and for Chelsea for the foreseeable future.

Funnies: After a shot of Al Davis this past sunday night in the Owners box someone commented, "It looks like a Weekend at Bernies."

A Moment of Silence!!!

2006-10-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

No!!!We can only hope the embargo lasts a year. Otherwise, I am going to steal a tanker truck and start smuggling it into the city.

Long Time....No Post

2006-10-13T09:01:00.000-07:00

An apology to our faithful readers for not posting with greater frequency, but time has been taken up with watching frisbee(yeah Chicago putting teams into natties again and Madcow making the leap to the top tier in the region), playing frisbee, being sick and staying warm. Chicago saw its first snowfall, but not to worry there will still be a couple of days on down the line where the temp hits the 70s.

Rather than play catch up let's just say Public News Team is fun (not always winning, but always fun even if BK isn't ok), the Bears and Buckeyes are both undefeated and fun to watch and Marla is at her cutest when the Wife is sick. (Following her around and playing under the covers and doing her best impression of E.T.).

Now to the reason I post. I hate Stephen A. Smith. How doess this guy still have a show. I listen to his NBA commentary on ESPN pre-game and what not and all I can think of is Steve Carell yelling, "Loud Noises". I mean I know he was on a b-ball scholarship at Winstom-Salem State, but this guy is the biggest jock sniffer. I would much rather hear Steve Kerr's(Best Sportscaster/Former Athlete ever) analysis of how to break down a box and one then Stephen A. Smith YELL that Allen Iverson is a warrior and Elton Brand is soft. Until, someone reminds him that Elton Brand is a 20-10 guy. (By the way the Bulls trading Brand for the Curry Pick possibly the worst trade made in the past two decades in the NBA; even if Curry hadn't had the heart issues how do you ever trade a 20-10 guy).

On a recent airing of Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith had a sports handicapper, a female reporter from Court TV and Kevin Powell (Yes, Kevin Powell of Original Real World fame). This with Pennant games, halfway through the NCAA football season, etc.
I could not believe it. My fervent hope is Bill Simmons of Sports Guy fame leaves ESPN so he can write a whole column bashing Stephen A. Smith.

Anyhow, expect more regular posts.

Pumpkins

2006-09-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

Fall has officially arrived. I planted a yellow "mum" in the pot on our porch that has held a dead evergreen plant for 4 months. Halloween candy is in the grocery store, it's really cold at 5:30 in the morning, football takes over every weekend, hot apple cider is back at coffee shops, and pumpkins are already popping up on porches. This is my favorite season. I love the crisp, sunny days where you need a jacket in the morning, but the sun warms you enough to wear a t-shirt in the afternoon.

But, be warned of the delicious pumpkin seed. You see, pumpkin seeds are seeds and seeds cannot be digested by our delicate digestive tract. Unfortunately, someone arrived in the ER after consuming 2 pumpkins worth of seeds with 10/10 epigastric pain. You would think a speech pathologist wouldn't have heard about such a case, but as I arrived in fluoro for a video swallow the other day, this unfortunate patient was receiving a gastrograffin enema to relieve her small bowel impaction. Apparently pumpkin seeds were everywhere... So, you have been forewarned. Do not eat too many pumpkin seeds or you may end up in your nearest ER.

The satellite just went out because of the rain during the OSU-Penn State game in the 4th quarter with Penn State just about to score. Um, fuck. Gotta go!

Football Is Everything

2006-09-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

I love the new Nike ad campaign. Watching Urlacher walk up for the coin toss and say "We got these guys" as he towers over the other high school players is hilarious.

Talking about Urlacher, Da Bears. The start of the NFL season is always a happy time. The Wife and I plan our Sundays around watching our home town Bears take the field. (I also am forced to go to dingy bars or hover over the computer in the hopes of keeping up with the Bengals). It's nice that da Bears are doing so well. I may have to change my tune of only rooting for the defense.

Ohio State is also playing pretty well, but we'll have to see how they handle the start of their Big Ten schedule. Because after Saturday Michigan is looking pretty tough. (Those of you expecting a knock on Notre Dame are going to have to wait. Due to an off-season deal with JBR, I am rooting for ND and Villanova except for those times it negatively affects OSU. Come on it's JBR. Granted I am working on my treatment for NBC about a sitcom where two brothers in their late 20's early 30's live with their Dad during the week).

The R.W.I.P house party has been talked about enough, so I have no comment except that the Wife and I did not stay that long and BK makes a very good Lynchburg lemonade.

The Wife played team mom for Public News Team. Public News Team is BK and I's fall league team. The Wife showed up with Capri Suns, Orange Slices and Old Style. (You can guess which one I like best).

Hipster Nation

2006-09-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

Rick and I had an interesting evening last night. I only worked a half day (no new patients), so I was able to get some errands done in the afternoon and went for a long walk through Lincoln Park. At 6pm, we went over to Myopic Books so Rick could sell back some books. I sat on some benches outside of Francesca's Forno with the valets for about an hour while Rick sat in line behind some professional book sellers with their 3 huge boxes of books. This is on the corner of North, Damen and Milwaukee, 6pm Friday night, the weekend of "Around the Coyote" arts festival. I had my iced coffee from Filter because we were going to a movie and I can't stay up past 9 w/o caffeine, and I was people watching. It was the most interesting hour of my life, no joke. There were girls with full face paint, ripped clothing and fake blood all over themselves, as if they had been attacked by the very coyote. There was a grown woman on a large tricycle with some sort of scaffolding 10 feet tall holding up a paper mache person along with her artwork. Hipsters, older couples, three 80 year old women, yuppies, a 10 year old on a bike talking into her cell phone riding up and down the sidewalk along Milwaukee Ave, a man with a mohawk in a convertible Mini Cooper, a woman with nothing on but a bikini top and jeans carrying out from Forno, the list goes on. Incredible.

With $35 from the book selling burning a hole in our pockets, we made our way over to Landmark to see "Little Miss Sunshine". Awesome movie. Very funny despite a very sad plotline. Steve Carrell's running scenes really stole the show. Well, that and Olive's talent portion of the pageant at the end of the movie. If you haven't seen it, Rick and I both really loved it, and y'all know our taste in movies is a little different.

This brings us to the most bizarre part of the evening (yeah, the girls w/ bloody face paint were not the wierdest). We took the monster out for a late night walk (I was still awake at 11pm) around the hood. We ran into the lady w/ the tricycle with the paper mache man on top outside of Club Lucky. As we made our way across Cortland back home, we walked past a home w/ a front patio full of people, probably in their early 30's. They're outside a lot at night, drinking, watching their tv. Nice people. Anyway, they had a cornhole set out on the sidewalk that was temporarily abandoned. As we were walking past, a group of what I thought might be high school kids (rick thinks college) came up behind us and stomped all over the wooden set, basically smashing the part that holds the board up w/ the hole in it. "Oh, gosh, sorry...fucking yuppies!" they said and kept walking right past us. At this point, a full open beer whizzed by my head. I turned around to say, "hey, we're yuppies too" but I think the guy thought we were with the hipster kids and he said something about how proud we should be about raising our kids so well. Maybe I misheard him, but do we look old enough to have 20 year old kids? I'm hoping he was just yelling past us to the kids. I was just shocked at the hipster's brazen show of hate, right in front of the people on their porch.

After last night, I think this is clearly the strangest neighborhood in the city. There's a guy w/ a Bentley who lives around the corner in a 3 million dollar home next to the Polish lady who's been here for 50 years in a crumpling home with a gorgeous garden. It's getting to be time to move to the 'burbs.

Marky Mark Looked Jacked

2006-09-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Saw "Invincible" last night, hence the title. (Almost went Dirk Diggler, but seemed too much). Great movie. (Skipped "Crank" thanks to TBR's recommendation or lack thereof). I love just about any sports biopic, but this was really well done. Truly inspired casting with Greg Kinnear playing Dick Vermeil. I don't know who could have done the part. Great film work for the football scenes. Not over the top, nausea inducing handycam of "Any Given Sunday", nor slow motion staged schlock of "Remember the Titans". The only disconnect was in the soundtrack thanks to the period piece. Watching a football scene without AC/DC Thunderstruck seemed an anathema to my being, but I digress.

Fall League for Ultimate starts tomorrow and Public News Team will take the field. BK and I put a team together that will be both fun and competitive. We'll see.

OSU v. Texas tomorrow night, so I'll probably be locked in our place with just the Monster as company. (I like to be alone for big games, but I may go to R.W.I.P. for 54" HD goodness). The Wife tries to stay away when it is a big game. Can't say I blame her, but I do feel sorry for the Monster she doesn't always know why Daddy is yelling.

Who-Dey!!!

2006-08-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

He's back and I can't wait. In other news the Wife and I are building an ark in the back yard in case the rain keeps up. Unfortunately, there is just room for the three of us, like we wouldn't take the monster. Stay out of any dry creek beds in case of flash flooding.

I saw in the news where a cyclist coming back from South Bend was forced off of the South Shore Line and had to take a $150 cab ride and all I could think of, "I didn't know one of the BR's went home the other day."

Finally, listen to Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me for me laughing in the background. Thanks to El (Future teammate in fall league on the "Public News Team"). I was kind of excited to go, having never seen a radio show tape, the Wife was "eh" about the whole thing. It ended up being one of the funniest things either one of us has ever seen. Let's just say there is a great deal of lines that never make the air. In fact a whole running joke ended up involving a fictional place the Ha Ha Hole. You get the idea.

Snakes on your phone?

2006-08-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not usually into lame pranks, but I couldn't stop laughing when Melissa at work (one of the PT's) set up a bunch of prank calls today. See, I'm way behind the times and was not aware that this 'Snakes on a Plane' was becoming a cult favorite. I guess you can go onto their website, plug in a phone number, and have Samuel L. Jackson leave a message on your phone. First person to have Sam call us at home wins a prize!!!
http://snakesonaplane.varitalk.com/

Smoke On The Water

2006-08-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am putting it out there, I can say unequivocally, if Guitar Hero had existed in college my whole frisbee team would have flunked out of school. The other night I went over to the Real World Irving Park (R.W.I.P, from now on). For those intrepid readers who don't know about R.W.I.P. it is an five bedroom apartment filled by five guys ranging from 24-32 who play ultimate. The apartment is pretty sweet and with five guys you know when you go over there you can always find one person least who wants to do something.

For the unschooled Guitar Hero is a Playstation 2 game that rather than using a standard controller it uses a small plastic guitar with five buttons in the fret board, a strummer doohickey and a whammy bar. When playing you have to hit the strummer doohickey while hitting the right buttons on the fret board as shown on the screen as your electronic avatar plays with the band. Extra points can be had by using the whammy bar at certain points. (AY throws off is well documented fastidiousness to hammer at the whammy bar, comedy ensues). Even more bonus points can be garnered by pointing the guitar up in the air at certain points a la a real guitar hero.

Here is the part that would have really gotten us in trouble you can have two guitars and duel. We would have had put in a continuing order on the guitars at Best Buy. You can imagine losing and breaking guitars over knees, winning and trashing guitars like Nirvana or Rev being Rev. (A well documented story, Rev once pulled a toilet out of the ground and threw it against the door after being locked in a bathroom because he had already trashed some stuff in the house. Odder there was an extra fixture around and he installed the new one. Better for us, he is no longer in the Navy and a nuclear engineer on a sub).

Anyhow, there is nothing weird about a bunch of guys sitting around playing video games at our age. Well nothing I would admit to.

Vacation and stuff

2006-08-22T16:53:00.000-07:00

Rick and I have been world travelers lately. Well, maybe not world travelers, but I feel like we've been all over the country. We were in Tarrytown for my friend, Katie's wedding with the reception at Tappan Hill. The food was incredible. Abagail Kirsch is the caterer at the site and we just ate non-stop until midnight. It was really great hanging out w/ the girls from grad school in such an amazing place. The wedding was Friday night, so we had all day Saturday to venture out and about Westchester. We headed to White Plains to go to the mall and ended up at this white-trash, teenage-ridden mall first, then found our way to "The Westchester" as it is called. Very much improved. Do not find yourselves at "The Galleria" if you plan a trip to NY. Trip home was uneventful (finally), quick change, packed dog into car and headed on a 5 hour drive up to Michigan.

My grandparents left their cottage on Torch Lake to my family and we try to use it as much as possible. I spent a month every summer up there growing up; it's my favorite place in the world and I would spend more time there if I could. The weather was cool, low 70's the entire week, but Wednesday was stellar. I did get up on that damn ski (after 4 tries), skied for about 5 mins, then dropped back to the dock. I was so sore for 2 days that I can't imagine skiing again, but when the lake gets glass calm, I just can't refuse.

Marla was insane in the water. If we were out past the end of the dock, she would swim out to get us. Only she is a little bit of a clumsy swimmer. Her front paws just splash vertically, displacing a ridiculous amount of water. She scratched the hell out of both of us, but it was really funny.
Thursday through Saturday the weather was sort of crummy. Cloudy, cool. We ended up watching a majority of the PGA championship for lack of anything better to do. Rick finds it amusing to watch sporting events w/ my Dad, mostly just to encourage his ranting about the commercials being repeated seventeen times...."Jack Nicklaus won the US open five times"...
In between, we headed over to the "Torch Lake Nature Trails" which are actually on the way to the Lake Michigan shore. Marla was like a tiger stalking her pray. She was running around the woods like she knew where she was, and she's super camo w/ her stripes. One night, Rick made a blazing campfire using the ways of the eagle scout just so I could make some smores. Yummy. Check out the firewood teepee.

All in all, it was a great vacation. I could use another week off, but then I'd never want to go back to work.

A Walk In The Woods

2006-08-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

Long time no post. This is what happens when you take a week in the woods of Northern Michigan in a cottage with no internet. I can not think of the last time I was somewhere where WiFi was not readily available. I have to say I kind of liked it. Now don't get me wrong I am not going to go to a pond and suck the marrow out of life or take my wooden shoes and throw them into the gears of a machine, but it is nice to take a week off the grid.

Leading up to the week in Michigan we spent a weekend in Tarrytown, New York for a wedding. Again, a lovely wedding in a great location, but of course we had travel problems thanks to our leaving on the Thursday of the terrorist scare and a cab driver who didn't know where the hell he was going. I am going to leave that story for the Wife because she is still angry about it. (At one point I was yelling "Everyone stop talking" and I think it was the first time the doorman at the hotel saw a NY cabbie not get paid). Outside of the travel issues we had a great time. The weekend included a trip out to Connecticut to a BBQ at one the Wife's grad school friend's house and seeing babies. I fell asleep with one the babies thanks to a mobile that also played a background of waves crashing against a beach at the same time. I am thinking about getting an adult sized one to battle my occasional bouts of insomnia.

Michigan was a great time. Marla learned to use her hind legs while swimming. We had to steer her back to shore a couple of times otherwise she would have ended up in the boat traffic. She also got to run through the woods and up and down hills which she loves. Her coat is the perfect woodlands camouflage.

The Wife also had possibly her last waterski run. Don't get me wrong she is fantastic up on one ski slaloming across wake, the whole thing. Of course, she couldn't walk the next day and may need PT for her back. The only drawback was a trip to the driving range by myself. (Nice range, real grass off a raised tee box, but I really need some lessons).

Expect the Wife to post more later, I'm off to the Real World Irving Park tonight for dinner with BK and EA.

Paris Hill (the wife's point of view)

2006-08-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

It really was a lovely wedding despite the travel snafus. The missing luggage at the end of the trip really put the nail in the coffin, but we got it back and at least we had our clothes for the actual wedding. Heather's family did such a nice job getting their Maine house ready for the party. I'd been up there once before, but I had forgotten how beautiful it was. You can literally see for hundreds of miles.

Rick and I stayed at the Holidae House B&B in Bethel. We were the only patrons Friday night, so breakfast Saturday am was great. This is where I had my first serving of bacon for the day. We grabbed the bikes after breakfast and headed down the road towards Sunday River Resort. We only made it half way because Rick is a sissy. Do you see how pissed he looks on that purple ladies Huffy? After returning the bikes to the Holidae House, we went for a long walk up the other way and ran into Chrsity and Dave rounding out their 5 mile run. We grabbed lunch at the Mouse and Bean, an internet coffee shop, and enjoyed the gorgeous day. My wrap had more bacon on it, making it my 2nd serving for the day.

We all caught a bus to Paris Hill where the church and the Case's house are located. We could walk to the Case's house from the church, where I enjoyed my third, fourth and fifth servings of bacon wrapped around fresh scallops. The food was amazing. I have to say that I was nervous about what kind of catering you could get in western Maine, but it was really good.
And the band was great. The dance floor was full most of the night despite the unevenness and likelihood of sustaining a broken ankle or tearing an ACL. The bus ride home was a little rocky. I thought Dave and Rick were going to strangle a few of the drunken guests, one of whom grabbed the tour giude mic and began telling jokes while the other (a really drunk girl) kept yelling the punch lines over and over.

So, despite the white knuckle night time drive through the mountains w/ bad brakes, moose crossing warnings every 5 miles, the purple Huffy's w/ bad brakes, the early morning flight out of Manchester, the 3 hour lay over, and the missing luggage, it was an awesome weekend. Wedding #4 of the season is this weekend in Tarrytown, NY. Fun Katie is tying the knot and the MGH girls will be there in full force.

Lost Bags

2006-08-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

To start with big shout out to EA for watching Marla this weekend. She loves her nanny.
The Wife and I returned from New England last night and our bag got here this morning at 5:30. Sweet, I know. Traveling was less then pleasant. We had a layover in Detroit on our way to New Hampshire (An effort to save money, never again) Almost as soon as getting on the plane we had to et off because the main strut of the landing gear was leaking hydraulic fluid. I am not an expert, but I know enough about the family biz to know this is bad.
Sidenote, my dad is an aeronautical engineer who designs jet engines creating an unnatural fear of flight. Not for the usual reasons of being mystified by the technology, but instead my paranoia is created by an all too intimate knowledge of the science of fluid dynamics that comes from learning Bernoulli's equation when eight years old. ((Also, talk about the irony ("Irony" in the Alanis Morrisette way, not the Shakespearean way) of RERIII dying in fiery crash caused by a design flaw in one of RERII's engine.))
The end result being what was suppose to be an hour layover turned into a four hour delay. Turning a scenic drive through the White Mountains during the waning light of the afternoon. Turned into a white knuckle torture with a rental car whose brakes were not working very well. You're starting to get the idea. The flight back was uneventful, until we got back to Midway and our suitcase wasn't there. Lending itself to my yelling at a customer service rep at 2am. Good times.
I think there were some other travel badness. I am sure most of us have experienced the early morning hungover drive when your co-pilot passes out and you are left driving while punching your leg to stay awake. I mention all of this not to disparage the long travel, but to say that even these events couldn't take away how good of a time we had at the wedding.
The wedding occurred in Paris Hill, Maine we stayed nearby in Bethel, Maine at the cutest little B&B run by a couple, the husband who was English had a delightful accent. Saturday saw Sarah and I on bikes riding through New England. The bike riding stopped a little short because the bikes the B&B provided did not include brakes for me. (A disturbing trend). Anyhow, after a morning bike ride we walked around the quaint village looking in shops having a light lunch. All very idyllic.
The wedding itself was held in a church that probably was around during the Revolutionary war. The after the ceremony all the guests got on the steps for a group picture with the bride and groom. Then we all walked over to the reception following a bagpiper (I love bagpipes, to the point I will listen to bagpipes at 8am driving to tourneys) to the brides home. There was a tent, a gorgeous view and a beer boat. (The beer boat is an old row boat filled with ice and beer, and possibly the greatest invention ever).
All in all the reception was gorgeous with amazing views and good times. Got to seem some of Sarah's college friends. The usual circle of men occurred where an over/under was set on when the first person would fall down the hill. (The home sits on top of a very steep hill so even ground came at a premium, to the point the dance floor had a 20 degree incline, didn't stop the Wife and I from droppin' it like it's hot). The under paid off. There were alot of high points, including the soon to be Chief of Pediatrics at a certain university hospital doing the running man or rodger rabbit, not sure which! Dancing with the Wife. Good cake. You get the idea. Hopefully, the Wife will post photos later.

Don't Call It A Comeback....

2006-08-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

...we been here for years! Can you say win streak. Kablooie won two games in a row. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta. Of course the wins come at a great time right before the tournament. Granted, I am missing the tournament to go to a wedding in NY.

Before I get started I would like to shout out to miss casual and BK for providing rides this summer.

So the haps of late. Friday saw myself and the Wife over at the Fortress of Solitude. Although, the Fortress is a bit of a misnomer now that EA is getting married in May and Tracy is moving in after the wedding. After this was settled, shocking changes have taken place. EA got rid of the brick/plywood shelving unit, there is paint on the walls and now the old eMac computer is no longer in the kitchen. Tracy might have even said something about all the DVD's in the guest bedroom.(EA refers to the guest bedroom as the data center, you are starting to get the idea, right.) A part of me feels like Obi Wan when Alderan got Deathstarred, you know a weakening in the force, but mostly I am really happy for EA. Sidenote, the plan was to go up to the sundeck (this eventually happened, but not until late because of the heat) so EA told people to bring cans. I have never seen so many Miller Light fridge packs in my life. (I was thinking about the fridge pack this Sunday when putting the diet coke in the fridge. The question is not does it make sense, but why did it take so long to come up with. Sort of like the square watermelon in Japan).

Saturday brought plumbers to the house to do some work. No more brown bath water. Yeah!

Sunday, the Wife and I went and saw Pirates. Good flick, except for falling in to the middle movie in a trilogy always lets you down trap. (This should be called the Empire Strikes Back rule, the exception that proves the rule.) ((Second Star Wars reference, all I can say is it was a good thing I was always a big guy and a wrestler to boot or I definitely would have gotten my ass kicked in middle school.)) Just trying to do too much to set up the next film while making an independent story.

Plans for the week include keeping the dog from dying of a heat stroke.

Fall League

2006-07-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a lot of pressure from various sources to play fall league. I've decided to list some pros and cons. I'm going to open up the comment board for all of you to try and convince me to play, because I'm really not sure. Here's why.

Cons:
Games take up entire day
Traffic always SUCKS trying to get home
I will have to miss a lot of games for work, OR work on Sunday and have no free time to get work done around the house.
My back hurts just about every day and will only be worse if I play
General disorganization of "ultimate"
Type A uber frisbee chicks marking me, then schooling me b/c I'm slow now
Type A uber frisbee guys yelling at me to "force home" or whatever when I don't understand what that means
I can't throw very well; actually, I can't catch all that well either
Investing in UnderArmour clothing to fit in

Pros:
Hang out with friends
Extra exercise in addition to going to gym in the morning
Rick would be so happy

So, what do you think? I need a lot of convincing...

Kablooie Wins...Kablooie Wins

2006-07-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

So Kablooie finally got its second win of the year in a 14-13 barnburner. As a result, I can barely walk this morning, but we got the win.

So King's van is da' bomb. We need to christen it with a good name. The van is great because it allows for critical mass in passengers. Last night on the way to Piece from UofC saw the following things:
1) Myself as DJ.(Anyone who has the misfortune of having me DJ in the car knows it is just a way for me to exercise my ADD).
2) A call to Dad to see what bar has the Prince tribute night? The Berlin.(Not my Dad, but Union Crew's dad). (Oh and this was the only thing talked about on the call to San Fran).
3) Talk of a blowjob class at Miss Casual's house. (I though BK was going to drive off the road when "blowjob class" was mentioned. Followed with Miss Causal talking about how she didn't know who came. BK and I of coursed looked at each other like idle school boys and laughed).
4)AY claiming Joe's lady as a member of the houesehold and her looking like she just ate bad fish.

Then when we arrive at Piece, BK's new household (five bedrooms, count them five) is holding a meeting to divy up rooms. (I offered my services as a non-binding arbitrator). It seems BK got his way, shocker, with the master bedroom. Yet, the main argument for BK getting the master bedroom seemed to be he was the least likely to get laid within the next year. It aslo seems as if JF(pornstar) and NaCho are competing in a triathlon in two weeks to see who gets the better room. Pfil thought a better contest would be to put Pornstar and NaCho in a bar and see who pulled the most digits. I of course said NaCho did not have a chance, but Pfil said NaCho could and should be drunk. Well that changes everything.

Hands Free my ass!

2006-07-26T16:04:00.000-07:00

My husband says I need to post more, but I just don't have much to write about that I think is worth while. So, with that sad intro, I have a complaint. I feel like stand up comic..."so, what is with those people who wear those hands free cell phone ear plugs. You know, the ones that hang from your ear and have a little bud about where your mouth should be. Have you ever seen anyone NOT using their hands to hold the damn thing right up to their mouth? What the hell?"

I'm complaining because I almost got side swiped by some idiot talking on their "hands free device" on my way home tonight. Fucker! I do not want to become a patient of my own SICU, so please wise up and just hold your phone to your ear. It's much less distracting, and you won't look like such a fool.

Really...this is the last Fanboy Post

2006-07-25T09:08:00.000-07:00

So two of my favorites are interviewing each other here. A reason not to hate myspace.com.

Fanboy

2006-07-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

Depsite EA's claim (while we were using the chat function of gmail, no less) going to the Clerks II showing at 11:20 on Saturday morning by myself is a pretty blatant airing of my fanboy flag. It's ok, I accept and move on. The Wife was at a conference so I had the time and I of course was up. Fun way to see the film with the other soul surfers. (When you can quote Swayze, you quote Swayze). Anyhow the Webster Place theatre was surprisingly full for a Saturday mid-morning. A great deal of solo guys mostly in jeans and black t-shirts, shoulder bags with pins and hip plastic glasses.

Not really my crowd except there we all were collected in a dark room to see the latest installment by Kevin Smith. I like Smith's films. Sure he's not a great cinematographer, mostly slow pans and one camera straight on shots, nothing extraordinary. Of course, Smith admits this in the commentary tracks of his dvd's. If you haven't listened to these, they are a must. (Worth it just for Affleck trash talk, "Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms"). Joel Siegal being grossed out, aside there was only one point where the movie hit my gag reflex. The Smith interview on Opie and Anothy where they call Siegal is pretty damn funny in its own right. (I particularly like how Smith calls everyone, sir).

Rest of the movie was typical Smith film with rauchy/funny dialogue covering up what is a pretty sappy love story about possible unrequited love. Good stuff.

Last night BBQ with the BR's. TBR grilled a whole fish, head included, for M the zookeeper. Nothing like making your lady work for her meal. (Comment of the evening by TBR, "So there may be some little bones in there" said while the fish's eye stares blankly at M). Fun times.

Go Elks

2006-07-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

Phil B. is a nice guy. I take back all (ok, come on, most of) the bad things (he still went to Michigan) I ever said about him. He went out of his way to make sure I had a ride home tonight. Kablooey played a better game tonight, but still lost. Lighting did not strike anyone and I made a PBGipper 2000 (as Peggy said) layout catch. Lightning to this day still scares me to death. Looking forward to a cooler weekend. Oh and movies in the park are the best. Bueller is still funny and the chairs the Wife and I bought at Crate and Barrel worked like a charm.

Congrats to BK for the career switch and EA on setting a date, I think, for his wedding.

Lola

2006-07-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

I hope you are impressed that I added this picture without breaking the computer. Marla and I went to the park tonight as it has finally cooled off a bit and Marla wanted to go for a swim (she told me). While there, we met Lola, a 3 month old, 35 lb, brindle English Mastiff puppy. Marla seemed to know this dog was sort of next of kin; she sat staring at Lola while she chewed on a rope and chased after a ball with her. At one point, Marla knocked Lola on her butt by accident (Marla is 120 lbs and cannot stop when she wants to). Lola was stunned for a second, but them commenced chewing Marla's neck with her razor sharp puppy teeth. Lola still has her "puppy mastiff feet" which makes it impossible to remain on all 4's for more than a few minutes.

I love Mastiff puppies; they don't drool yet and they don't cause the bed to shake like a cheap motel room bed when they dream. I kind of wish Marla could be puppy sized forever, because the drooling is driving me to drink (among other things). So, for our next dog, we are in search of a non-shedding, non-drooling, medium sized dog that is calm, requires moderate exercise and light grooming. I'm not sure this dog exists. The closest we have come in our research is something in the terrier group, but those dogs seem to be a little high strung. So, until Marla goes to the cookie lady's house in the sky (hopefully not for another 8 years), we will put up with the drooling in hopes of being able to genetically manufacture a perfect dog. But I don't think "W" is going to pass that stem cell bill...

Left, Right, Center

2006-07-15T15:59:00.000-07:00

And I quote my friend the Burke, "Indigo Girls? Seriously? I can't tell you how shocked I am that you're apparently willingly attending an Indigo Girls concert. Shit, next thing you know, you'll be voting democratic." I should note that I am writing this as I watch the women's US national soccer team play the Swedes. I'd make a comment about the Swedish national team, but it is really too easy. Yes, it's true the Wife and I had date night and attended the Indigo Girls at Ravinia. First, I like the Indigo Girls. I have seen them before in concert and they put on a great show. Second, I love Ravinia. See a show, sit on a blanket, eat food you brought and throw down wine, what's better. (Big props to my boy EA for hooking us up with his picnic backpack, an indispensable piece of Ravinia equipment). Third, say what you want to about those that pursue an alternative lifestyle but the Indigo Girls fan base can only be described as rabid. These three things make for a perfect show. Good band, good vino and good crowd. Comment of the night by the wife, "Wow it is not everyday you see hot lesbians making out."

One thing of note is that Ravinia has changed in the past couple years. It use to be the people with the Radio Flyer liquor wagon were the best provisioned. Now it seems everyone brings small tables, chairs ((Really annoying to me, what the hell is the point of picnicking (I think I made up this word) if you are using chairs and a table) and buffet tables)).

Slight break in the action(Saturday night). This post is now written over two days. The Wife and I went and saw Superman Returns last night. Pretty good. Great summer flick. I am going to limit any further comments so as to not ruin the viewing for other people. For the record, John Williams should score every movie.

Met the Burkes (including some extended Burkes) at Fado's last night. I have not been there in awhile, but let me say that if you are single and looking to mingle great place. Fun time all in all. Now we are nesting in the A/C and watching Season 1 of 24.

Oh, and the title refers to a drinking//gambling game involving dice being played by a group a couple blankets over at Ravinia. Not really sure how it is played. If you know let me know.

Echolocation

2006-07-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Kablooey went Kablooey getting blown up 15-2. Not sure how the other team made it past the point system, but whatever.

Funny story from the weekend. The Wife and I have come up with a system keep track of each other in large crowded areas, such as airports. The trailing person makes a chirp every ten seconds, thus the person in the lead knows the trailer is still back there. Awesome. Although, on further reflection no one else should adopt this, otherwise O'hare would sound like the bird enclosure at the zoo. So don't do it.

Party Like It's 1999

2006-07-11T16:52:00.000-07:00

So summer league last night saw team Kablooey(Probably the eighth different spelling of this word) playing against BK's and Tang's(the person, not the drink the astronauts drink) team. We lost, but not without some scoring of our own. The post is in reference to BK and I both getting up for the game because we were playing against one another, much like we did in 1999 (a la Union Crew). Overall, a fantastic time. Two of my best plays of the season and one of the greatest league layout catches by Ezra. (UC econ grad student, nice guy). My plays involved catching on a 6'2" and d'ing a 6'2" guy. Like I said it was like 1999.

Great convo with the ladies of casual ultimate at Piece regarding proper etiquette in popping the question. Right now I seem the go to guy on this, mostly because I am the only one amongst my circle of friends already married and still in the city.

As a public service announcement Ferris Buller's Day Off is playing at Churchill Park on Tuesday, July 18th as a part of the movies in the park program. The Wife, the Monster and myself will be there with our nalgenes full of wine and a blanket in case anyone wants to join us, let me know and we can save ground space.

Tally-Ho Buffalo

2006-07-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

In the immortal words of MacArthur, "I have returned." Buffalo was everything I imagined and more. Breakdown of the extended weekend. Sammy P picked me up and we went to his lovely home in Orchard Park(suburb of Buffalo). Plenty of room which ended up being a good thing. Cracked the seal on FIFA World Cup '06 by EA sports and that was all she wrote for most of the evening. (You have to love a guy that would not remove the plastic wrap from a game until both players are there, so there are no arguments over competitive advantage). Made a few pickups at the airport that evening, all in all pretty low key.

Thursday saw myself and another groomsmen "Hollywood" (named because he lives in LA) riding around Buffalo in the Benz while Sammy P ran errands, including the trip to the old school Italian barber shop. Hollywood and I both declined his services enjoying our full head of hairs, unlike anyone else. After this riding around it was only obvious we compare ourselves to Entourage. (I made it clear I was not going to be Turtle, although after last night's episode I am not so sure). Thursday night included a BBQ and some serious Bocce. Sammy P beat a retreat upstairs after repeatedly breaking out with, "Man, I am really drunk." Now that the bachelor left we started with the real bachelor party. The co-best men already had a plan and a DD we just needed a car. So having woken up one of the groomsmen who had passed out in the backyard and gotten him moving we took his car to Tally Ho's. Possibly the greatest name ever for this kind of establishment. Tally Ho's became the rallying cry for the wedding party from then on.

After waking up in a bit of a fog I came downstairs to head out to lunch and check-in to the hotel. Possibly the funniest part of the weekend then occurred. Sammy P had gotten up early to go pick up the priest who was marrying him, a really nice Jesuit named Greg. Greg was a practicing attorney before taking the calling and despite being in his mid-40's, looks 28. Thus, Greg was chilling in the house watching tennis while some of us were hydrating and napping. Enter Hollywood who had come downstairs and wanted to talk about Tally Ho's and despite some gesturing didn't take the hint. Only later were we able to tell him he had just talked about a gentleman's club in graphic detail in front of a priest. Just awesome.

Anyhow, more fun. Picked up Sarah. Went to rehearsal dinner, early night thanks to the night before. Hit the Taste of Buffalo on Saturday before the wedding with Sarah. Then it was nothing, but pictures and ceremonies and what not. Great time at the reception. Dancing with my lady is always fun. Got home the next morning and picked up the Monster from the in-laws. Feeling like guilty parents the Wife and I took her over to the big dog park in Libertyville. (Her happy hunting grounds). She impressed us with her swimming(more like her impression of a walrus) and seemed to forget we had ever left her for the weekend. All in all a great time.

Christmas

2006-07-05T16:38:00.000-07:00

My husband has left for Buffalo to "calm the nerves" (i.e., drink beer and play video games) of his friend who is getting married Saturday. So that means Marla and I have the house to ourselves. Marla is pissed at her Daddy for leaving and already ate his cardboard Ohio State coaster, then puked it up and left it for me when I got home from work. Thanks honey!

Many of you know that I work a lot of weekends and holidays as a speech pathologist. I worked this Tuesday, and I can't get this poor guy out of my head. He's young (in his 40's) and he had a whopping stroke. Unfortunately, now all he can say is "Christmas". After a gruelling session of getting nowhere for 30 mins, I dropped him off in his room, told him he had PT at 2, and he replied "Christmas!!!" He was probably trying to say, "Fuck you, you stupid speech therapist. I can't say, 'hello' or count to 5, or say my name. All I can say is CHRISTMAS. And it's the fucking FOURTH of JULY!!! Just leave me here to try to hang myself with the call light, which I can't reach with my paralyzed arm. AAAAHHHHH!"

So, for all of you who thought you were having a bad day, Christmas to you.

We'll Be Back

2006-07-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

To my faithful readers there will be no new posts until Sunday. I am off to, the home of the Chicken Wing, Buffalo for a wedding. I am sure I will have more to report when I am back.

Live Blog of the European Grudge Match OT

2006-07-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

The Houseboy has moved to Crimson Tide for his commercial break. SONAR CONN report hostile contact. RELEASE COUNTERMEASURES. Love it.

A new Fabio, Iaquito has come in for OT. The fourth official just checked for jewelry. See the game doesn't change much from Candy league soccer.

Someone's Dad (aka the Italian coach) looks like he just dropped a load in what must be very expensive windpants.

:40-A fabio dribbled into the goalpost and just missed the score.

1:57- Zambrotto(called by his real name because he looks like a bad ass with his shaved head and cold eyes, no ponytails for this guy) hits the top of the crossbar.

The Donker is running like a Tazmanian devil, you gotta love the Donker.

Zambrotto proves his reputation of him by taking the one armed man down. Kehl just dropped a Fabio by kicking a ball into his head. Sweet.

The lil' Kaiser jsut hasn't been playing well. Maybe if he was playing with his original junior side, oh hold on that's right there is no east germany.

Someone's Dad has the horrible affectation of the gold chain bracelet on the right hand. A number of men do this, but it doesn't change the fact it just stupid.

Doogie's friend Vinny DelPiero is warming up on the sideline to come in as a sub.

Juaquita and lil' kaiser just collided. Good to see.

13:33- Yep, it official Doogie's friend came on.

Donker tackle, Donker one man fast break. To no end thanks to Schweinsteiger. Really, with these names this just writes itself.

Stoppage time in first OT Donker makes a great cross, but Podolski couldn't finish.

Round 2-Fight

Looks like both sides are exhausted and going to play for PK's.

Donker wins a corner. Donker is quickly becoming a crowd favorite.

On the Italy counter Fabio-Jaquita just falls down.

One armed man sends it over the crossbar. Doogie's Friend attempted a greatest header to keep it inbounds.

20:29-Neuville in for Klose. O'Brien called him the little engine. Just great commentating.

21:24-Great save by the Fabio keeper.

Just noticed the Bud placard on the field has the Kanki for Bud right next to it. Soccer, truly the worlds game.

25:55- Donker kick, Donker miss.

At this point might as well just start PK's now, but Italy gets the corner kick with two minutes to play.

How appropriate Fabio Grosso just scored. Shots of Rome on fire.

Wow, Doogie's friend just scored the go ahead goal.

That's the game. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.

Live Blog of the European Grudge Match Second Half

2006-07-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

Best Comment of Halftime. Julie Foudy, "the Italians are getting their balls in the seams."(I have nothing to add).

Hordes of Germans in the street and not even a beer hall putsch. (Too soon, but come on you were thinking it, they even had pictures of the reichstag).

Complete disconnect. Commercial for Emanski's back-to-back-to-back AAU baseball champs defensive drill video during the world cup. Really, Fred "Crime Dog" McGriff from the eighties during one of the most important soccer games in the world. You got be kidding me, Landon and DeMarcus don't have a video for soccer fundamentals. You can't tell me those two haven't been in a "coffee house" in Eidenhoven and come up with some whacked out business plan for a soccer video. (I mean how many times did O'Brien tells us those two were best friend during the U.S. games). Something like, no see what you do is run really fast down the side and hope McBride gets you the ball without having to add a titanium brain pan to go along with is tungsten cheek bones.

Second half is underway. Now seems a good time to mention that HD tv is amazing. You can see individual blades of grass.

So the Houseboy mentioned how the Germans have players of different sizes. I equate it to the old 8-bit nintendo hockey where you could pick the skinny-fast, medium, or the big slow. I would always put three big slow and one skinny fast and just knock the crap out of the other guys and cherry pick with speedy. (Shocking, I know).

49:38-Klose almost had a goal and the Italians countered quickly with a good shot except for that whole being offsides thing.

53:16- Italy corner right to Lehman. I have a feeling this is already going to end up being decided by PK's.

All right let's just get it out of the way, who cares that the Germcan coach got imported in American sports psychologist.

Dave O'Brien had another great bon-motte. "Since WWII the Germans have not been about displays of uber-nationalism." Just great. I can't even add anything to that comment. It really just speaks for itself.

59:12- Totti is crying again from someone grazing his face. I'll give that guy an elbow. Balboa has a great pronouciation of these names. Like he goes out of his way to show that he spent a lot of time in Europe, despite having only played in one version or another of the domestic league.

62:02- Podolski missed a great attempt. The Waiter (German Coach) assaults water bottle.

ESPN's score bar just let us know that Kobayashi won Nahan's hot dog eating contest again.

67:00- Podolski trips over his own feet, otherwise he would have a good shot.

69:37- Ninth time the offsides flag has gone up.

The houseboy has a successorie, if it wasn't for his HDTV I would make more of this then just going, "you have a successorie?"

71:30- Mad Dog Gattuso goes down with a cramp.

71:47- Schweinsteinger comes in for Borowski.
73:41- Gilardino in for Toni.

If you can't figure out which team made which substitution you have no business reading this blog.

77:20-An Italian player is down. At this point I am actually getting tired of this being said.

The Italian coach just looks like Someone's Dad.

80:36- Podolski might have just won a kick just outside of the box. Some Fabio (Should have been calling all the Italian players Fabio throughout, damn amateur mistake) tried to climb the ladder.

82:40 Odonnker in for Schneider. Odonnker called the super sub. Kind of like being the HR leader in minor league baseball. (No offense to Crash Davis).

84:39- Lehman just killed a Fabio in the box. Of course Perotta first looked fine and then acted hurt.

Odonnker(The Donker) is a freakishly fast man. Only accented by his red boots.

89:16-The Fabio with the top-knot gets a yellow for the scissor tackle.

The normal three minutes of stoppage time has been added.

Looks like we're going to OT.

The Houseboy keeps ordering a martini everytime the German coach is shown.

The Donker just swung one in, but no one was home on the inside.

YEP, OT it is. Oberon numero 3 coming up.

Live Blog of the European Grudge Match First Half

2006-07-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

Coming to you live from the Fortress of Solitude. Watching Italy v. Germany in HD thanks to the Filipino Houseboy (Yes, to all you people too caught up in being PC I call EA the Filipino Houseboy).

Just starting with the preshow. Eric Wynalda, Julie Foudy and Brett Musberger. During commercial breaks you know Wynalda is pestering Julie with questions; "what's it like to be a world champion," or hell to win an international game. The Berger is asking Julie for Mia's number so he can get Dodgers tickets. Interesting dynamic, do you know of any other sport where they bring a woman to do the color commetary/ expert opinion for the men's sport. I mean can you picture Barkley sitting down with Lisa Leslie to talk hoops before the NBA championships. No.

Oh, while the commercials are on, I love the addidas commercials with the two kids getting to choose their dream squads. (The chubby kid stopping on the ball and later celebrating the goal is just good entertainment). The Houseboy just switched to the end of Tora, Tora, Tora. So now we have seen the sinking of the pacific fleet and are getting ready to switch to Italy verse Germany. It is a reagluar axis powers kind of day. The House Boy seems very excited about Damnation Alley being on Encore. Something about a gigantic vehicle. More as this story progresses.

Switched back to the game, well to the uncomfortable panning shots while one of the national anthems is being played. In this case the Italian anthem. We are now hearing the German anthemn. After looking at both teams during the panning shot I have decided to cheer for the Germans. Well, actually I had decided along time ago because I HATE the Italian side. But now looking at both teams closely the Germans pass the drink test. Based on the look of the German players I would sit in a bar and get a drink with, while I would just want to punch one of the Italian playes in the mouth.

Germany is in White the Italians in blue. Both playing for a shot to win their nations fourth world cup.

Dave O'Brien and Marcelo Balboa are announcing which is awful. No one, but Adrian Healey and Tommy Smythe should be allowed to call big games on english speaking channels. Balboa will probably mention the officiating in the US v. Italy game at least 127 times and about his experience sucking it up on the US National team 223 times.

Six minutes gone and no excitement so far. I have always liked the soccer convention of kicking the ball out of bounds when an opposing player is down and then the other team giving the opposition a goal kick once the injured player is back up.

Surprising, a screenshot of Michael Ballack, but Balbo didn't call him the Little Kaiser.

Sloppy play by Lahm, really just too easy. I am trying to restrain myself from making the obligatory joke (or twelve) about the Italian team look. So let's just say I did and it was particularly witty.

O'Brien just let us know that one of the Italian players admitted not knowing the Italian national athemn when seen on tv not singing. Balboa's excuse for the player is that he is not really italian because he was born somewhere else. Oh that's a lot a better thanks for that Marcelo.

15:30- Great save by Lehman.

The Houseboy commented about the Italian jersey numbers being done in gold, yet another reason to hate them. Shocker and Italian just fell down, cried and got a penalty. This should come as no suprise, but I also hate diving. I don't think you should be carded, but instead the opposing player should be allowed to kick the diver in the shins as hard as he wants.

20:52-Podolski attempted a volley. Swing batter, Swing!

O'Brien just made the stupidest comment ever. "Apparently, the German born, Pope Benedict is having a hard time of it in the most exclusive address in Italy." Let's not even get into more sublime levels of stupidity in this statement, but go directly to the obvious. The Pope doesn't have an Italian address, because the Pope lives in the Vatican City a separate and independent state. I am not expecting O'Brien to be an expert in international affairs or geography, but he could of at least read the Da Vinci code, right?

27:18 an Italian player just got leveled, but still no cards.

Germans playing pretty well, but need to be a little quicker ont he counter.

We're getting some commentary about the matching fixing at Juventus with no real substance. When I really want to hear why Klensman, and the rest of the German coaches always seemed to be dressed like they are tourist heading up to the parthenon or a waiter at Rocco's.

35:16-Schneider couldn't get to it.

Just noticed one of the Italian players has a topknot. Sweet.

37:05-Ballack just swept the leg .

The Houseboy just made an excellent point, "How hard is it to put the ball on the spot the ref points to for a penalty kick."

Lahm, I am looking for a one armed man. Surgery on the elbow tendons will do that, yet he takes throw ins.

39:24- We have our first booking. Borowski made a tackle straight from behind. Obviously a foul, but the Italian player fell wiht a delayed reaction.

Almost halftime and I just opened my first beer. (I'm trying to cut back). Bell's Oberon. (Best summer beer).

Only one minute stoppage time, not the normal three minutes.

Looks like we're going to the locker room nil-nil.

More to come for the Second Half.

Viva La George Hincapie

2006-07-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

George porte le maillot jaune après avoir monte 1. I am a big George fan, so bonne chance.

Soul Crushing

2006-06-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

Quick post. So the Wife ended up not having to play golf last night, instead we both went to the Diversey driving range after dinner. Both of us had a pretty miserable showing. The Wife could only hit an 8 iron with any regularity. I had my usual showing of one good strike to four bad hits. Surprisingly, I did pretty well with the drivers. Anyhow, at one point near the end of her bucket, after a particularly bad hit, the wife turns to me and says, "This is crushing my soul." Good times. We decompressed by taking a nice walk by the lake and stopped by beach to say hi to people and then a pleasant walk back to the car.

The lady will have the schnitzel...

2006-06-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

Team Kablooey faced a set back last night. Losing 15-8. We just couldn't get it going early. It may have something to do with never being able to start on time because of the mercurial nature of where people put their fields. We played on Field #7 both nights this week, but there positions were in completely different places. Certain people when asked if they could move their field took the attitude we were here first and we're too lazy to move four cones. I just wanted to punch someone.

Enough of that. Rode home with King and Akira, picking up the high school couple, JL and his girl, out front of Frontera in the mini-van. (Not really h.s. kids, but they were dressed up and come on we picked them up in a mini-van). We then went to Darwin's. Where BK ordered by saying, "We will both have Turbodogs," while pointing at me. The waitress replied with "Are you a couple?" BK and I then felt the need to declare our love for one another. (I may have even broken out into song, as I am apt to do). Further confusing the waitress I was forced to order JL's drink because he wanted a martini (Wednesday's means $10 slabs of ribs and $5 martinis at Darwin's) , but he didn't know how to order one and the waitress's first suggestion was a cosmo. (Oh and JL and his girl both got carded). I of course could not allow JL to order a cosmo if for no other reason then even I would get tired of making fun of him for his lack of masculinity if he made such an order. (However, it would have to be done. We also made the necessary appletini joke, yeah Zach Braff).

This whole exchange would have been the funniest thing going on, but then I noticed JL had a Starbucks card. Akira and BK chimed in with calls of "you finally made it." This would have been funny enough, but then his girl(really need a better name) volunteered that it was an award for being employee of the week. As she said this, there was a sudden look of recognition of what the imparting of this information meant to JL. You can all imagine the hard time we gave JL for this little nugget of information. Then, JL's girlfriend forgetting what had just transpired five minutes ago mentioned it was actually the second time he had won the award. Again, almost too easy. (All of this was actually said by JL's girlfriend in what can only be classified as a proud sincerity that was cute and endearing). It still didn't stop the jokes.

Baching it tonight as the Wife plays golf tonight. The Wife was already talking trash about the course and its lack of difficulty. We'll have to see if the crucible of competition breaks her spirit. (The Wife is actually a really good golf player i.e. destroys me).

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh

2006-06-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

So last night before buttoning up (Sorry, too much time spent in college with guys in the military) for the evening the Wife takes the Monster out back to handle her bid-ness. Fairly soon thereafter I hear the call, "Honey, can you come down here." (Those readers that are married understand the chill running down my back upon hearing these evil words. Possibly only surpassed by, "Does this taste bad to you?" and "Let's have kids"! of phrases said by women to terrify their mates). Upon hearing this I run (read walk slowly) downstairs and outside.

Upon arriving downstairs, the Wife says did you bring the flashlight. I of course didn't but I could obviously see the problem. There in the wire fence separating our yard from the CSI house is stuck a big ol' rat. The rat brought to mind images of a VC sapper entangled in the barb wire fence surrounding an A camp. (Just watched Tour of Duty on DVD, thanks Netflix). Now the Monster being a typical dog and seeing a possible threat to her Mommy had a typical reaction of running in tight circles in the back yard hoping for blood.

After a brief(shall we say terse) conversation between myself and the Wife, she walked around the back of the house to avoid the rat and got the Monster on a leash and took her around front. With the Monster safely out of the way, I was left alone with the rat. Unsure of what to do, I followed the genetic tendencies embedded in the DNA of all right thinking hominids dating back to the earliest vestiges of man, I poked the rat with a stick. The rat still being alive hissed and wiggled, but couldn't free itself. Being married to a health care professional and spending more time than what could be considered healthy living in hovels shared with any number and breed of rodentia I decided that I should avoid any possibility of picking up some form of disease. (Images in my mind of a poster found throughout the American Southwest warning of the Hanta virus spread by mice and a diorama in the British museum showing blocks of London being burned to cleanse the city of the Plague).

Thus, I made a strategic withdrawal (Run away, run away) back inside the house. The Wife went downstairs to let the neighbors know that there was a rat stuck in the fence and to be careful about letting their dog out. Not thinking we could win the hearts and minds of the rats we called 311. I waited up for awhile to see if the black van would come with men in white coveralls and masks to spray green gas to get the rat. No go. Then, I thought the rats from the rosebush would at least come get their fallen comrade, but alas the rat remains.

Seeing the rat still in the fence this morning and the city calvary no where to be seen I decided to take it upon myself to free it. The rat was still alive but still stuck and unable to move. Thinking rubbing vaseline on the rat was out of the question I decided cutting the fence impinging the rat would be the best way to free what had now become my furry friend. Unfortunately, my wire cutters were not up to the task. Next calling upon some scottish ingenuity I used some hedge clipper from the garage as a miniature jaws of life. By inserting the clippers in the hole made by the wire and opening the clippers I was able to bend the wire outward resulting in the rat falling to the sidewalk. Not being qualified for rodent CPR and left with no other way to revive the unmoving, but still breathing rat. I used a shovel to transport the rat to it's natural home. After, much ceremony, the rat was placed in the alley dumpster, and left in its final resting place.

Droppin' Bombs

2006-06-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Team Kablooey, finally, got a win last night. Final score 15-4. Despite the wind, the deep game was really working and our zone did what it needed to do. My personal highlight was catching a score, something that rarely happens. (More likely throwing them). Got a good read on a high floaty hammer and came down with it. (Yes, my feet may have even left the ground). We were done early (for us) and got to Piece while there was still pizza.

Looking forward to world cup quarters and annoucers repeatedly saying "Kaka". Still need to write about the Knicks, maybe I'll do a whole NBA draft breakdown a la Sports Guy.

Are Those Nantucket Reds?

2006-06-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

Weekend recap. Casual Ultimate happy hour Friday. Mutiny practice Saturday morning. One of my last, as I am not playing this fall. Attempting to play club frisbee while being gone all of the weekends in August and some in July just isn't feasible. (Read I am getting too slow. Oh, and EA and I are going to begin our golf careers-think John Daly and ChiChi Rodriguez playing together and you get the idea). Couples shower/cocktail party Saturday night in the LB. (True story: the Wife went to high school with the groom and was in the same sorority in college with the bride, but only figured out the connection after talking to the bride after the soon to be newlyweds had been on a couple of dates). Hosted by the grooms family in their lovely LB bungalow. (It is even on the parade route). I love the architecture of the older homes in East LB. A beautiful Chihuly piece on the buffet table piqued my interest. (If it hadn't been so big I might have tried to run out with it). Interesting crowd from the LF/LB. Small world time continued with an interesting conversation with Blair Lockhart, older brother to former teammate, couch surfer and aspiring hair model Reid. A retelling of Reid's nose getting blown up on a mark at Tune-Up seemed warranted. For those of you that don't get the post title a proper retelling can be given at a later date. (Obviously, certain tales are better in person). Lazy Sunday. The weather required a great deal of napping, world cup watching and cooking. (Nice to see Becks score and puke).

Butts and Guts

2006-06-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

So, this is my virgin post. I never thought I would enter the world of "blogging" because I thought it was just for geeks and computer nerds. But, if my husband can set up a blog, I can surely add comments and posts, right? Things break when I touch them, so we'll see how this goes...

I work out at the gym in the hospital in the mornings. Some of my sadistic co-worker-outers wanted something challenging other than cardio, so the trainers developed this class: Butts and Guts. Pretty self-explanatory. The class is 15 mins and after last week, I literally could not walk down the stairs, much less sit on the toilet. It's once a week on Thursday, so I took the class again yesterday. And I cheated big time. I was afraid of the pain, so when everyone else did 15 lunges, maybe I did 12. I don't feel good about it, but at least I can move today. Maybe next week I'll go at it w/ a little more confidence and risk the pain.

And just to clear a few things up about the movie in the park last night. 1) I did not nap. It was too uncomfortable on the hard ground. We really need to invest in some crazy creeks or lounge chairs. 2) The movie really sucked. Something about Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick singing... Some coworkers convinced me to rent the original Producers with Gene Wilder; they said it's much better. 3) Wine out of a Nalgene bottle is not cool. Although we have been drinking wine from a box and it is cool.

Work tomorrow, then a wedding shower for a college friend of mine who is marrying a guy who was a year ahead of me at LFHS. I'm wondering who else may appear from my past.

Beach Blanket Bingo

2006-06-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

Skipped out on beach last night, but went to the movie in the park. (Partially, in the hopes of making my quad feel less like swiss cheese). "The Producers" is not a very good film, except for those scenes with Will Ferrell. (The guy who is almost as funny as a drunken NaCho). The Monster and the Wife napped during the course of the movie. It might have been either the late hour or the vino. (Nothing quite like red wine out of a nalgene). The Monster loves her some wine, almost as much as bourbon. Busy weekend ahead with practice, showers and errands. Might even stop by the Pontiac for casual happy hour tonight, but I make no promises.

Oh and as soon as I have time to process my thoughts expect a post about USA Soccer and Isiah's double tap to the back of Larry Brown's head.

The Monster

2006-06-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

Another 4; Another 9...

2006-06-22T09:05:00.000-07:00

No summer league last night, but I grabbed a beer at Darwin's with some of the usual suspects and Tang. Afterwards, I went over to the Forge. (so named because it is so freaking hot). JL, BK and NaCho live at the Forge and AY sleeps on the futon wearing a sign reading, "Wake for Settlers." Settlers is the best board game ever and the main reason I am willing to drive out to the 'burbs to visit the Forge.(Oh and to visit my friends). We of course played last night, however, my loss was brought to you by the numbers 4, 9 and the letter K.

Not a whole lot else going on, but you can expect a post by the Wife anytime now that she has a blogger profile and signed up as a member of this blog. We'll see how it works.

The "Producers" is playing at Churchill Park. So we are going to attempt to go to the movie in the park tonight if the weather cooperates. Feel free to stop by the blanket.

The Legendary Pat Riley

2006-06-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit that I love the NBA, as long as the game is in the fourth quarter. Last night was no exception. EA and I went to the Duke of Perth for dinner and after a quick stop for supplies at Binny's entered the Fortress of Solitude. EA is the proud owner of Knockaround Guys. Made by the same guys who made Rounders. Before starting the movie we caught Mark Cuban's pre-game interview given while, I think, he was working out on an eliptical machine and reading his email. (He couldn't get off the machine and focus for the interview, weird). So far so good. Back to the movie. The cast was great. Dennis Hopper, Vin Diesel, Seth Green (who I think is hilarious) and John Malkovich playing another guy named Teddy, etc... Overall, a great movie with some great lines. (It also featured handball, love handball). Only two drawbacks. First, Malkovich played his character with this weird accent that could not be placed. Second, come on and cap some already. (This will make sense when you see the movie).

Left the Fortress at the end of halftime when the movie was over. Listened to the third quarter in the car. Took the monster out. Finaly, on the couch and ready to focus on the game with eight minutes left and the game tied. Perfection.

The Heat took the title last night, however I didn't care who won because either way you were going to have GP and Shaq or Mark Cuban giving celebratory interviews. The interviews have actually been pretty tame, except for Shaq guranteeing a title defense next year. (Fine by me, that way when Wade's contract is up he'll move home and get a title for the Bulls). We also found out the covered object in the Heat locker room was not in fact Stan Van Gundy dressed as the gimp. (I know everyone is making this joke, but come on). Instead, the hole shaped as the NBA trophy contains playing cards emblazoned with "15 strong". I am sure Stephen A. Smith will somehow suck up to someone to actually get in the locker room and show us in detail. I hate Stepen A. Smith. Possibly, the worst sportscaster ever. (I may have to write a whole post on how much I hate this guy).

Now nothing to look forward to on the sports front until football starts, unless there is a Red's October.

This Can't Go On...

2006-06-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

I played in possibly the longest summer league game ever last night. Unfortunately, Team Kablooey came away with an 11-8 loss in a capped game. The wind was blowing just enough to cause problems for both sides. You know the type of wind where zone against a summer league team kind of works, but allows the better throwers to pick apart the d with little effort, but if anyone rushes a throw the disc does crazy stuff. Oh, and a serious case of the dropsies by the downfield cutters did not help. Kablooey, could not keep up once the opposition switched to man. (Meaning I had to start running, pulled quad and all). The highpoint for Kablooey was that our women caught at least five of the scores. Including, a score by my professional buddy. She who always signs up as my buddy for league play. I think a fun time was had by all, but it is hard to keep team morale up when you are playing zone in league because less experienced players see so little of the disc and sometimes take issue with the tactial punt.

I managed to get a ride back to the 'hood with the Bagel Brothers and Zelda laying across my lap in the back seat. Grabbed some free 'za and chatted with miss casual and ms. ultimate over a von awesome. All in all, a normal summer Monday night.

Why We Blog?

2006-06-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

I love using the royal "we". To those readers that know me, also know a great many of my friends blog. In fact EA's blog has been around since we were in college.(Switch to the non-royal "we"). So why have I come so late to the party? (Normally, I am too early). Originally, I thought I did not have the requisite technical skill, but after seeing JL blog drunk and Ms. Casual put a blog together overnight I figured I could manage getting one on the net. Also, my 83 year old gradfather recently passed away and he kept a memoir of his life which I thought an incredible idea. So after some self-reflection I figured, hell why not. This blog will neither be as interesting as my grandfather's memoir. (Granted, I never fought in the Battle of the Bulge and been interviewed by Tom Brokaw). Nor, as technically advanced as EA's blog. (I might as well be a Luddite throwing a wooden shoe at the LCD). Yet, it will be a fairly accurate record of what goes on in my life. I am even thinking of adding a co-author in the form of my wife. We just need to think up of a cool nickname for her to post under. Feel free to send in comments with ideas.

Oh, and if you haven't noticed by now, I also love the parenthetical.

Popquiz Hotshot?

2006-06-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

First one to guess where the quote in the blog description comes from wins the prize. Oh, and no fair using google.

Testing

2006-06-19T12:38:00.000-07:00

1...2...11!!!